Hollywood Weapons That Defy Logic

Defying logic is the sole purpose of bringing science and fiction together. But Hollywood certainly doesn’t have boundaries when it comes to imagining the craziest of tech. While a portable nuclear launcher does sound devastating, there are some that go completely over the top. So if you love the crazy yet impractical tech shown in movies, tv series or cartoons, here are some incredibly wacky and sometimes god-awful gadgets and weapons for you.

1. Light Saber – Star Wars

Let’s start with the popular one, the almighty Lightsaber from Star Wars franchise. The idea of having a laser sword that can cut through any surface and deflect projectiles sounds awesome alright. However, the amount of training it would require to master such a deadly weapon without dismembering yourself makes it entirely impractical. It also explains why only ‘Force-Sensitive’ people were trained to fight with these weapons. Another thing that makes it a horrible covert weapon is the light and sound produced, meaning we won’t be able to ever see a ninja wielding one.

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2. Organic Pistol – Existenz

Science-fiction doesn’t always have to be about cybernetically advanced stuff and sometimes it can go far more grisly. The best example to explain this statement is the aptly named ‘Gristle Gun’ from 1999 movie Existenz. While the firearm works like a traditional one that kills people or things (duh!), it is made out of organic parts from cooked mutant fishes in a Chinese Restaurant. And worse, it uses human teeth as ammunition making it a cringeful yet deadly weapon and tooth fairy’s worst nightmare.

3. Proton Pack – Ghostbusters

Okay, now this one is a no brainer! One can find plenty of information on how the Proton Packs from Ghostbusters works. While it does show that such a device isn’t improbable, they do not have any explanation on how this can help tame ghosts, witches and powerful demons and trap them inside tiny boxes. They do give off an explaination on how proton rays react with ectoplasm or ghost energy so they can be trapped. In other words, if you can’t kill em, nuke em and we’re sure America would agree.

4. Point of View Gun – Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Perhaps the oddest item on this list, Point of View gun is actually a brilliant gadget if it existed. It is a non-lethal weapon that can cause people to view things from the shooter’s perspective, eventually causing them to empathize. It was supposedly created by Deep Thought supercomputer, in order to prevent nagging wives from arguing with their husbands about not understanding them. While it sounds harmless, it actually is an extremely powerful weapon that can bring down entire armies without conflict. Who would’ve thought Peace could be turned into a weapon.

5. Neuralizer – Men In Black

A purely theoretical gadget that could wreak extreme havoc in the hands of a deranged criminal, MIB neuralizer doesn’t make sense at all. In the movies, this pocket sized gadget can wipe the memories of its targets up to specific dates and allows government agents to implant false memories. However, this gadget would only be possible in real life if time was actually a fundamental law, rather than being a theory in physics. But regardless of what science likes to say, wiping out memories and putting in fake ones is already a horrifying thing, that’ll haunt viewers forever.

6. Head Bomb – Total Recall

There comes a time in everyone’s life when we not only need to disguise ourselves as a fat lady, but also throw an exploding head at the crowd. The odds of landing yourself in such a situation seem quite common in the future as seen in the 1990 flick, Total Recall. This high-tech facemask sure looks like a great disguise as it can also be programmed to imitate a lady’s voice. But it lacks storage for additional dialogues, and comes with an in-built explosive with its own announcement (Get ready for a surprise!). Future is a weirdly situational mess guys!

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7. Plasma Cannon – Predator

Some people might argue that Predator’s shoulder-mounted plasma cannon is one of the best sci-fi weapons, and we almost agree. Coupled with it’s laser targeting system, it is certainly one of the most devastating tools in Predator’s arsenal. But being shoulder mounted, it can blow your brains out if you accidentally aim sideways towards your own head. Especially when using it in close-quarters against fast moving enemies such as Xenomorphs. Although this drawback was never pointed out in the movies, in reality this weapon would’ve been shelved following a horrible testing failure. 

Despite how outrageous some of the items in the above list might seem, it’s how they were used in their respective stories and universes that makes them indispensable. No matter how impractical they might seem to most audiences, we all certainly wish for these to exist in real life. We hope you like this list and please comment if you have any more suggestions. We will be glad to respond.